If you are reading this right now, you are in an incredible amount of sorrow...words cannot describe what you are feeling. We know that you sadly searched for dead Maltese...and our hearts go out to you.
Please continue reading, as you are not alone...we share your grief and we are here with you.
We will never tell you that your Maltese was "just a dog"...because we know that your Maltese dog was a vital member of your family, your child...a huge part of your life which now feels empty.
What Is Normal?
The bond that you had with your Maltese was one that only you and your dog will ever truly understand. Your friends and family members will know that you are missing your dog...however you must understand that they do not have the ability to know how deep your bond was, the feelings you had inside as you would come home and your Maltese greeted you, the joy you felt in your heart was the 2 of you played together. It will be normal for you to become a bit frustrated as others try to say comforting things to you...and you feel that they do not understand.
Losing your Maltese will bring about some or all of the stages of loss. it is normal to feel just 1 and it is normal to feel all. It is normal to have these feelings in any order that your mind feels them.
Allow yourself to emotional and/or physical space to feel your emotions There is no "correct" length of mourning and there is no correct length of time for each feeling to work its way through.
Anger - You may feel very angry at others. If your Maltese was ill, you may feel a lot of anger toward your dog's veterinarian. Even if you had the most experienced, professional vet who did all that was possible...your loss may compel you to temporarily be very upset with the vet, his assistants or just about any other person who was involved during the loss. An experienced veterinarian will have experience with dog owners who lost a dog; he or she will understand this phase. Do not worry i f you have said or done things that you now regret. When you are ready, a simple apology is all that will be needed.
Guilt - It is 100% normal to feel guilty, even though you did not do anything wrong. It is human instinct to think "should have, could have, would have". You mind may spin, thinking about all of the options or actions you could have taken. All people can do this in hindsight. During the time of the event, you did the absolute best that you, as an individual, could do. Your Maltese knows how much you love him or her...and that is what your dog was feeling...your love.
Denial - It is quite normal to enter a phase of denial. This is a human coping mechanism which can actually be very helpful. During times of great emotional upheaval, a person may simply retreat and not allow their mind to think about it. This is your body & mind's way of telling you that these thoughts can be processed at a later time...and for now, you must not allow them to sink in.
Acceptance - This one may feel so far away. You may see absolutely no light at the end of the tunnel. Please know that you will always remember your Maltese...you will always miss him or her...and one day you will be able to have those emotions and at the same time accept what has happened.
What to Do
Make arrangements - This may be the last thing you want to think about...however in the very near future, you will be very happy that you pushed your way through this. Why? Because your choice will help you cope. Whether you choose a pet cemetery (to have a quiet place to visit and speak to your dog), a memorial site in your yard (so you always have the feeling that your Maltese is close to you) or a cremation (so that if you move to a new home, you can always have your dog with you)...you will care about the choice you make.
Remembering & Coping
There are no rules about how you should behave. You have every right to mourn in your own way. You may find it helpful to:
Visit areas that you and your Maltese used to visit, such as the dog park. You may find some solace in walking the path of where you used to take your dog for walks. Some people avoid this and other take comfort in it. This can be a quiet, spiritual time for you...to think about your Maltese and allow happy memories linger.
Speak to your Maltese. Do not spend 1 second worrying what others may think of you, if you speak out loud to the dog that you lost. Sometimes it is very helpful to vocalize what you are feeling.
Time heals all wounds? Is this really true? Can that sick feeling inside of you ever lessen? Will your tears ever stop? No one wants to hear or believe this saying. So, is it true? Yes and no. Time will lessen your sorrow, you will slowly slip into an acceptance. However, you will always hold dear the memories of your Maltese and always have the love in your heart for your best friend.
Should You Get a New Dog to "Replace" Your Maltese?
If a loved one's dog has died, never try to lessen their woes by giving them a new dog. This decision can only be made by the person who owned the dog. Do not ask the owner if they are thinking about "replacing" their dog. There is no "replacing". There is, however, an opportunity to bring a new member into the household and must only be done once a person has gone through and completed the acceptance phase.
If you, yourself, lost your Maltese and you are thinking about getting a new puppy or dog, keep a couple of things in mind:
A new puppy or dog is waiting for your love...and you have a lot to give. Please remember that even if your new puppy looks just like your Maltese, they will have their own special personality and traits. They will not replace your dog...but be an enjoyable, loving, devoted new member to your family.
Take you time to choose just the right puppy or dog. Please never purchase a puppy or dog from a pet store. Pet stores are supplied by Puppy Mills and to purchase one from a store is to put money right into the hands of unethical, uncaring people.
We realize that there are far too many Maltese breeders in the world. In order to ensure that you have a healthy, purebred, ethically raised, well socialized puppy...we will soon be announcing our choices for the best Maltese breeders in the country.
We will announce when our choices are complete.
A Thought to Keep With You
Both humans and canines are creatures of God. 98% of the human population believes that we go on to some type of afterlife after we pass...no matter which religion one believes in. Over 80% of people believe that our pets also go to this afterlife. How could so many people be wrong? Of the billions of people who believe in an afterlife, only 1 need be correct. Therefore, it seems logical that we , creatures of God, do go on to live on another plane of existence.
Many pet lovers talk of the Rainbow Bridge. This is a story that tells of loved pets who have passed. They are happy, content and in good health there. They wait in comfort at the Rainbow Bridge until their owner someday passes over.
At that time, your Maltese will sit up and see you walking around the corner! All of the dogs are joyous because they know that another friend has met again with their owner.
Both dog and owner are reunited and then walk side by side to what lies ahead.
This story and belief is based on the fact that so many people do believe that our pets will be waiting for us. Take comfort in this belief and know that your Maltese is not in pain. They are not hungry. They passed over knowing that you love them more than anything...and they do wait for you at the Rainbow Bridge.
One day, when it is time, you will turn the corner...see your Maltese....your Malt will run to you with their heart filled with joy. And together you will walk together again.
Our hearts & prayers are with you. You are not alone. If you ever need to reach out, please write to us at firstname.lastname@example.org. God bless.